Click here to read this essay on a white background

My clients laugh when I tell them that their soul path is none of their business.  It sounds completely ridiculous---of course our soul purpose is our most important business---but what I am referring to during these times is when my clients are doubting themselves, doubting their heart's desires, giving in to their inner critics, and giving in to the unimaginative and fearful thinking of the external world.  When they hear these words, they hear the truth---our egos have no business telling our souls what they can and cannot do.  If we believe our souls are directed by Spirit (or however we label the Divine) then it's complete arrogance for our egos to step in and tell us we cannot have what Spirit wants for us.

Keeping this funny statement in mind is a great way to jolt us out of those times when we make ourselves uncomfortable.  For those of us going into careers that rely on developing our intuition and working with the Spirit world, stepping out of our own way is extremely important.  In my own shamanic energywork sessions, which are completely and obviously directed by Spirit, I sometimes have to remind myself that what I think about how the session is unfolding is none of my concern, either. 

Recently while working with a client, who was expecting a soul retrieval and underworld extraction around whatever was holding her back from fully embracing her soul's purpose, I had the session be directed by Spirit in a way I wasn't expecting, and in a way I thought was particularly weird and bizarre.  The Guides that came told me not to do a Soul Retrieval at all, and to instead install a special gift into my client's heart chakra that was stuck in her throat.  I was embarrassed for myself, wondering if she was going to think I was a complete nut, and I started feeling very uncomfortable.  I then started fearing that my being uncomfortable was going to make my client uncomfortable and ruin the whole session.

Luckily for me my client is deeply committed to the Zen practice of Not Knowing, and so was wide open for anything to come to her.  While I was throwing my little tantrum in the background, Spirit still was working through me, and the session was particularly helpful for a very severe sore throat my client had been suffering from for the past week.  Our session was over the phone, but she felt the installation of the gift move from her throat area and into her heart space.  After the call she felt her heart expand and her throat and chest felt better than it had in days.  When she came downstairs, her housemates noticed how much better she looked.

In spite of my doubts and my inner critic, Spirit managed to work through me anyway.  It was a great reminder for me that I am simply the conduit, not the one performing the work.  I made myself uncomfortable by judging myself, but that was all.  I could have ruined the session by telling my client, "You know, this is weird, I don't think it's working, we'd better stop."  But I didn't.  I kept rattling my rattle and taking in the guidance that was coming to me anyway.  This realization that what *I* think of my work or my purpose in life doesn't matter, was huge.  It freed me up to relax and let go.  For most of us, our inner critics are our own worst enemy.  If we realize that our inner critics can scream as loud as they want, but if we show up anyway, Spirit will arrive and flow through us, we can relax!

It doesn't matter what mood we are in when it's time to do the daily work dedicated to our souls.  It doesn't matter what we think.  We don't have to feel perfectly aligned with Spirit all the time.  All we have to do is make the full commitment to be there, then actually show up, and that is enough.  Eventually, we relax and begin to enjoy the ride.  When the moments of self-doubt and questioning arise, we see them for what they are---our own ego's commentary---instead of the Truth.  We can allow the self-doubt to arise but not set us off course.  We stop ourselves from experiencing extreme suffering because we no longer prevent ourselves from doing the daily work of our dreams.  We show up anyway.  That's all we have to do to have our souls and Spirit work through us, no matter what our Soul's Purpose turns out to be.